Updated: Jul 27
Life has dealt me a harsh hand as a single mom of three boys. Divorced at 34, Alone at 37 I find myself in a constant battle to pay bills, fearful that my truck will break down, or my washer will go out, and overwhelmed by the impending threat of homelessness due to unpaid house taxes and mounting debts. In this blog post, I want to shed light on the unglamorous truth of my life as an entrepreneur and the façade of looking good on social media in the unforgiving year of 2023.
1. The Weight of Financial Struggles:
Struggling to pay bills has become a never-ending nightmare. Each month, I am faced with the overwhelming task of juggling expenses, cutting corners, and sacrificing basic necessities just to keep a roof over my children's heads. The burden of financial uncertainty weighs heavily on my shoulders, and the constant stress leaves me feeling helpless and trapped. Do I pay the 1800 house taxes this month or do without electric and water. The electric bills is $800 and the water is $130. Let’s not even get into the Wi-Fi bill or phone bill which are necessities today! I’m a mom of three kids. How the hell am I doing this? I’m not sure and sometimes I fall on my face. I don’t have family to help if I can’t pay a bill. I have good friends but they have bills too. If I fall on my face my kids suffer. School is starting soon and on top of it all I need to buy things they need to start! Another thing to add to my mounting list of things we need that I can’t afford. I’m not alone, many people are feeling the struggle.
2. Lingering Fear of Impending Disaster:
Living on the edge of a financial precipice, the fear that my aging truck will break down without any savings haunts me every day. I am plagued by the knowledge that even a minor repair could push me further into a downward spiral, leaving me utterly stranded and unable to fulfill my responsibilities as a provider for my children. If my truck which is not right off the car lot but the opposite. It’s pushing it’s limit of years it will be in decent condition. If I lose a vehicle there isn’t money to fix it or to buy another. This is a stress that leaves me reeling at night while trying ti fall asleep.
3. The Terrifying Prospect of Homelessness:
The looming threat of homelessness is a constant nightmare that keeps me awake at night. With each passing day, the mounting pressure of unpaid house taxes and the inability to meet my monthly bills pushes me closer to the edge. The fear of losing the one place my children and I can call home is a constant reminder of my desperate situation. I am blessed to have bought a home a year ago but the taxes are due and I don’t have them, or any prospect of making them. What will we do if we lose our home. I can’t face the thought but it still nags at me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, and in the face of never seeing my children at my corporate job. I walked away from it three years ago. I worked 70 hours a week and my kids were falling apart after my divorce. Something had to change so I turned to entrepreneurship as a last-ditch effort to secure a stable future. However, the reality is far from the glamorous image portrayed on social media. The road to success is paved with countless setbacks, sleepless nights, and overwhelming self-doubt. The harsh truth is that building a profitable business from scratch is an uphill battle, especially when you lack the resources and support that others seem to effortlessly possess. You throw your all into projects only to be disappointed when things don’t work out. You don’t want to give a bad impression when disagreements arise with toxic work collaborations, so you suck it up and grit through the hurt. You smile when your crying inside. You work harder then you ever have in your life. You see your kids but your distracted by thoughts of how you will put gas in your truck. One day the universe brings you abundance and the next you cry all day bc you don’t see any profit. It’s a rollercoaster of uncertainty. It is also more rewarding then any other job could bring. Your fighting and getting back up. More knowledgeable then before.
5. The Social Media Illusion:
In a world obsessed with social media, presenting a picture-perfect life has become the norm. However, behind the polished façade of carefully selected posts and curated content lies the harsh reality of struggling to make ends meet. The pressure to maintain a positive image on social media can be suffocating, as it often masks the true hardships and challenges we face in our day-to-day lives. The shoes the kids mismatch, the hour it takes to get the kids to get ready and out the door. The dishes in the sink, the arch nemesis of putting laundry away, raising unbroken humans, exercising, eating right, and having the perfect relationship. Cooking five course meals for your family that are Pinterest worthy, doing creative things, taking your children to do fun things that cost an arm and a leg. Feeling bad if your boys can’t get a video game, joint pta, making healthy lunches, going back to school. The list of things to project on social media is so daunting I lose myself from time to time. I want to run back to my cave and hide. I want to be authentic and connect but then my anxiety smacks me in the chest like a boulder reminding me of my endless faults. The who do you think you are? You can’t change your destiny. Why do I even try? This can leave some people debilitated. Add PTSD from my abusive marriage and I’m a hot mess of wanting to socialize and wanting to run away at the same time. Then I’m so nervous I forget the words even ones I have known my entire life. Thanks PTSD!
Being a single mom of three boys, divorced at 34, has thrust me into a world of overwhelming struggles at 37, financial instability, and the constant fear of losing everything. The harsh realities of my life as an entrepreneur and the facade of looking good on social media in 2023 have shattered any illusions of an easy path to success. While it may seem like others have it all figured out, I want to expose the truth and remind fellow struggling parents that they are not alone. Together, let us acknowledge the difficulties, support one another, and work towards a more honest and compassionate society that uplifts those facing the harshest of realities.
In the midst of these challenges, it is crucial to find ways to stay positive and resilient. Here are a few strategies that have helped me maintain a semblance of hope and remind myself that I love this journey for me:
1. Gratitude and Perspective:
Despite the difficulties, I remind myself of the things I am grateful for. Focusing on the love and joy my children bring, the small victories, and the support systems that exist can help shift my perspective and keep me grounded in appreciation.
2. Seeking Support:
Connecting with others facing similar struggles can be a lifeline. Joining support groups, both online and offline, can provide a sense of community, empathy, and valuable advice. Sharing experiences with people who understand can help alleviate the feelings of isolation.
Amidst the chaos, it is essential to prioritize self-care. Taking time for oneself, engaging in activities that bring joy, and practicing self-compassion can help recharge and maintain emotional well-being.
4. Setting Realistic Goals:
While the road may be challenging, setting realistic goals can provide direction and motivation. Breaking down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps can make the journey feel less overwhelming and increase the likelihood of success.
5. Celebrating Small Victories:
In the face of adversity, celebrating even the smallest victories is crucial. Recognizing progress, no matter how incremental, can boost morale and keep motivation alive.
Remember, staying positive doesn't mean ignoring the hardships you face. It means finding the strength to persevere and embracing the moments of joy and growth along the way.
Together, let us acknowledge the difficulties, support one another, and work towards a more honest and compassionate society that uplifts those facing the harshest of realities. By sharing our stories authentically, we can inspire resilience, foster empathy, and create a world where no one feels alone in their struggles. This blog isn’t to have you feeling sorry for me, it is only a way to express my own emotional journey with others, that hopefully let’s someone else out there feel less alone. Some days I feel the world on my tiny shoulders with no support to help ease the burden. I pray to my god and surrender to the universe, but some days I just want to vent and stress. If your struggling like me, don’t beat yourself up. Your amazing and doing your best, that’s all you can do today! I’m sending love to you wherever you are.